My Little Heart

Little heart are you okay..? the bottles that was full, the glimpse of hope that stays... you have been waiting calmly, patiently, hurtfully, there little heart.. it bruises you... until it deforms you.. why am i so blind and numb that i let this happen to you.. you're crying aren't you..? i know you don't show that.. but i can feel your cold tears in me.. i'm sorry little heart.. i'm sorry we didn't have that much courage to let it out..i'm sorry.. little heart please don't burst.. i know its hard to believe it right now, hard to comprehend the truth.. but it happened and we didn't take the chance when we have it before... please don't burst.. i still need you.. i'm sorry that you've change because of this... little heart please listen to me.. there is nothing we can do now.. we have to empty those bottles little heart.. this time we have to break those chains and empty them all.. all of them not let one single bit remains.. even if it bleeds.. we just have to keep emptying them until none is left not even the first one.. i know it hurts, it hurts now like never before.. i did not know that it will turn out like this little heart.. please don't little heart.. you're crying you LIFE out.. please don't... i'm hurting too little heart..i feel those feelings, live those memories...i'm crying too, i'm hurting too, i feel what you feel little heart... it hurts so bad that your mind stops, the time stops, everything that have grown until now, strike down and crumbled to pieces... i know what i feel is pain, but little heart did you know,  the mind became so numb because of the pain it suffered from the very first day we started to fill those bottles.. 

we can only let it go little heart... no more keeping hopes for him, no more weaving dreams with him, no more waiting, no more butterflies, no more cold hands, no more shivers, no more avoiding and no more deforming.. little heart we changed because of those bottles.. now we have to let him go.. i know it cuts and stabs us but we'll heal in time.. it will heal.. maybe there will be scars but it'll heal in time.. how long..? i don't know little heart..for 10 years.. all.. everything ended just like this..? i know it is very painful little heart but i'm here, we will make it through together..healing process will hurt a lot but we'll be fine in time.. he is just not  for us.. 

God have wonderful plans for me.. i know that He has the best things for me, to get to those things i have to face many hardship and this is one of it.. Lord, please open my heart and let my feelings for him go, so that finally i will not wait, not hoping.. i'm thankful for Your plans Lord.. 

-Little Heart beat strong-